Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Thus it is written, So shall it be. Mulch 2 for $3.

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Let me first kiss up by saying that, of the limited choices we have here in "just east of the sticks, Sillynois" Kroger is my choice of grocery store.

We also have a super-megalomaniac-mart that I'd rather take a beating than go visit. Between them and the big blue K, they drove the local grocers out of business. (I'm sorry, I tried to prevent it. I can only buy so many cases of canned beets and cat food.)

There is also a small "stuff that fell off a truck on the interstate and we brought the boxes in here" store that sells celery and lettuce right next to motor oil and electronics from companies like Sany and Pennysonic (NOT typos).

So, Kroger gets most of my grocery dollars. That being said....

Just inside the front door is the store pledge. We pledge to be good local citizens and provide quality, convenient yada yada yada....

But it ends with "Thus it is written, So Shall It Be."

Just what book of the Bible is Kroger in? I don't know, maybe they have their own. Maybe the order is actually Joshua Judges Ruth and today's Pastries... (or maybe they're in the ganoche-tic bible?)

Another thing. They sell mulch and fertilizer by the front door, like it's an impulse item. (Got me a hot date, let's see... I need me some Certs, some condoms, and hey, we're gonna want some mulch!)

I don't know, maybe they think that folks here in farming country always have manure on our minds.

"Wooo boy, I done loaded up on groceries this time. I'm gonna eat good and poo for a week. Hey, that reminds me....."

???

4 comments:

mist1 said...

I never take the time to read the signs at my local Kroger. I'm just trying to look nonchalant as I cart out all my wine and avoid the disapproving looks of the guy who hands out circulars at the door.

Dezdmona said...

Gotcha..my Kroger sells bedding plants, too!

Does that mean that the grocery stores are becoming all purpose boxes, too?

Competition is stiff round these parts. *wink*

CruiserMel said...

Admittedly there are times when I totally forgot I needed mulch and I was glad they sold it by the door. It saved me a trip. Seriously, mulch just doesn't enter the mind when you're making out a grocery list. They're obviously kissin' up to working individuals who can't be bothered to plan ahead.

Great-Great said...

It's always interesting to read what Tweeks that twisted mind of yours!! Thus it is imagined, So shall it be--
(and what's with this word verification--is it a test to see how much Chardonnay I've had in order to ascertain the validity of my comments??)