remember red wigglers?

---

There's one of those marquee signs on a trailer just south of town. It sits next to an open chain link gate.

It reads:

Henry's Gifts and Decor
WE HAVE LIVE WORMS

I don't have anything to add to this. You're on your own.

Dinner Impossible, The Final Episode

---
Dinner Impossible

Tonite's challenge --

You're on a beautiful, picturesque small island in the South Pacific.

You've got a box of vanilla wafers, two cans of spray whip creme and a 40 year old Hershey bar.

And here are your guests, 300 cannibals. Bon Apetit!

We are a weird species, take two

-- We've had decades of professional sports figures arrested or investigated (not always both, interestingly enough) for wife beating, drunk driving, dealing, distributing, using drugs, yadda, yadda.

A pro quarterback gets busted for dog fighting and the media goes nuts on it.

I mean, the only way this should have gotten this kind of press coverage is if he was actually fighting dogs. Lots of them. With a blindfold (him, not the dogs.) Now we're talking pay per view.

Of course I also think we should train and arm deer to fight back. Hey, it's working in Southern Illinois.

Writing news and an Elvis "Sighting"

--
Last week "Elvis" appeared at the local VFW.
It was big news in town. The local Walgreens was having a sale on cheesy "E" memorabilia. (What I want to see? A mashup of Elvis and Python memorabilia. Stuff like the "I'm not dead yet." t-shirt would take on a whole different meaning. OR! "I'm not dead yet." on the front, and on the back: "And I am NOT working at your K-Mart!"

Anyway, DB is checking out at the pharmacy/store and asks about all the knock off Elvis stuff. The nice lady behind the counter said she didn't know why they were selling it. Then she said,
"Did you hear that Elvis is playing at the V?"

And then she leaned in close and whispered, "It's not the real one. It's an impersonator!"

----

Work is coming along on the next book "That Dead Guy of Mine #2".
The next online story should start soon. (I have got to re-discipline myself.)
First book: Jazz and the Monkey Man is being pitched everywhere I can find. Currently two fulls, a partial, and a pitch out there. Keep your fingers crossed! (I can't, gotta write.)

Thanks, all!

Now available in the deluxe home game edition...

...
We had another episode of the monthly (or so) home refrigerator game--

Can You Guess What This Was?

As with all made up off the top of my head games, there are rules:

Rule 1) You must make your guess before whatever it was disappears down the garbage disposal.

Rule 2) You only get one look at whatever it was (while it's on its way to said disposal.)

Rule 3) The second person guessing is allowed to observe the facial expressions of the first guesser, and hear the gasps of disgust of all in attendance. The second guesser may use this information to help them come up with their guess.

Rule 4) You take turns being the first guesser, which also makes you the first smeller. You do not have to partake of the smelling, however, if you do, and you guess incorrectly, you will still get the points. So, take a big whiff. After all, you only live.... um, guess once.

Rule 5) Winner is the person with the most correct guesses, or the last person to pass out.

More News from Cornfield Township...

...

Mrs. Thomas, over to the Farm Bureau? You know, the one with 7 kids and a half dozen grandkids? She had hip replacement last week. She had the doctor put a bear trap in next to where her purse usually hangs. She says the kids still beg for money, but they're taking No a lot more seriously....

Oh the difference in our similarities

Standing out in my sun stroked backyard I realized how, with but one small sentence, I could demonstrate the vast gulf that exists between how I am similar to, say Marilyn Monroe and yet, how very, very different. Observe:

We might have stood, side by side, and announced: "Oh man, am I hot."

We would both have been so right... but Sooo different.

loose ends, and how cat's are teaching us to comunicate

Lest ye mere mortals have any doubt that our cats are teaching us their language, I offer this:

Meh.

If you blog, or regularly read blogs, you already know what it means, the ultimate in "yeah, so what?"

Call the cat? You get Meh-ow. Offer the cat something she thinks is boring? Meh-ow.
Hold the door open with the cat sitting right in front of it, pretending she want's out? Meh-ow.

Meh. We're halfway there. They'll teach us to talk yet.


-----------


Loose ends. I Found a Knife is done.

I'm spending the weekend "at loose ends". Feeling restless and lazy at the same time. Trying to get up the energy to see what the next story will be. I love telling/writing stories. But planning the story is like chipping paint off the house. It has to be done, but that doesn't make it suck less. (Yeah, yeah, yeah, whine, gripe... Now shut up and get to work.)

Thanks to all who have read along. That's what makes the writing fun.

Chains that find me

---

Chains that find me. Chains that bind me. Chains to make me see.

As I said a couple posts ago, I volunteered for the AW Blogchain. Kelly at Organized Chaos just tagged me, so here we go:

The Chain started with Courage, and ran from comfort foods to food security, to the amazing conditions that people often elect to live in, in order to live in Alaska. Let's touch on all of that, shall we?

First off, I lived in Alaska for a couple years as a kid. We lived about 16 miles from "The North Pole". Don't get excited. North Pole, AK is a trading post near Fairbanks. My Dad was Air Force. This was near the end of The Vietnam War. He kept a flight bag packed behind the door. We'd come home from school and there'd be a note on the table, or Mom would say, "He's gone flying. He'll be back." We never knew where to. We never knew when. But, somehow, we knew not to ask.

My last stint in the Boy Scouts happened while I lived there. I got a merit badge for camping out in 40 degrees below zero. (Turns out "Be Prepared" does not equal "Be Bright"... or even "Be Reasonable".) I caught and ate my first salmon on a camping trip there.

Oh and I've blogged about Alaska at least once in the past.

I have a cousin who spent not just one, but several years working in a salmon cannery in Alaska; one of the nastiest, coldest, most brutal jobs on the planet. I think of HER every time I'm pan frying some salmon croquettes and baking up my mac and cheese.

I'm sorry, what was that? Yes, sir, you in the back? So what?.... So WHAT?? Oh, ok.

Here's the so what:

I'm not sure who had more courage, my Dad, who went off at a moment's notice on those mystery trips; my Mom, who stayed behind with four kids and never let us see her sweat; or maybe my cousin. Not for the first canning season, but for going back for more after she knew just how crappy it could be, saving all her money to send back home to family.

Wasn't me. I was just the schmo kid who played in the snow in the winter, and spent the short summers playing triple-header baseball games. What do you mean it's time to go home? It's not even dark yet. :-)

These days I'm that guy who, more than a thousand miles from the nearest salmon stream, can pick up fresh salmon for dinner (grilled on a cedar plank with a nice whiskey & peach barbecue glaze, thank you very much); can sit on my butt in front of the biggest tv screen I've ever owned and let the History Channel and Discovery Channel remind me of just how hard my life could be; and be greatful that it was just a little bit hard when I was a kid, so that maybe I learned something on the way from here to there.

And I can sit here and be amazed, remembering that, back then, there was ONE channel on TV and that Sesame Street (oh, and the network news) aired a day to two days later than in the rest of the United States.

And now?

I can click this, scroll that, copy, paste and click away, and point you toward a site where you can see Alaska for yourself, live, in color, from the comfort of your own chair. Not that the images can really substitute for the real thing. But, for those of us who have settled into a more comfortable lifestyle, it's a peek into a world where people are living and walking on roads less traveled.

Tag, Miss Peggy. You're it.

A question about child abuse

--
If it's not appropriate to teach a child to smoke, is it child abuse to make them sit in the smoking section of a restaurant?

Or, is it just stupid?

Blindly onward unto the web

Every now and then you have to jump with full keyboard into something you've never done before.

So, I agreed to participate in the absolutewrite.com current Blogchain, #9. The idea, as I understand it is, one person posts on their blog, then each person in turn creates a post that has something to do with the previous poster's post. Also, pre-post and post-post you are supposed read the posts and add, er post, a comment. Got it? Nah, me either.

Virginia Lee is starting us off tomorrow. If you want to see how it works, (I know I do) you can follow along below.

Participating Blogs

writing@cathsmith.com - http://blog.cathsmith.com/
hunt & peck - http://www.andreapeck.blogspot.com/
Life, Writing, and Other Things - http://tjwriter.blogspot.com/
periodically.org - http://www.periodically.org/
Virginia Lee: I Ain't Dead Yet! - http://virginialeenc.blogspot.com/
Food History - http://www.foodpast.com/
A View From the Waterfront - http://www.harboradvice.com/blogger.html
Organized Chaos - http://chaostitan.blogspot.com/
Williebee - http://williebee.blogspot.com
The Road Less Traveled - http://thoughtsontheroad.blogspot.com/

aspcEa?

So a friend gave DB (Darling Bride) an i-Dog the other day. If you haven't seen one, it shakes its head and lights up and the ears move.. in time with the music it hears. Apparently you can hit a button and reset it's personality.
(Way ahead of you: Right now I have a dozen science fiction fans and scientists locked in a small room until they figure out how to do this Robert Tilton.)

After you reset it you have to make it listen to the music of your choice for half an hour so that it can develop its new personality.

DB set it up on the coffee table with one of the Music Channels playing on the TV. But a storm was rolling through and the signal kept "hiccupping".

Bottom Line: Her i-Dog has a twitch. It's so sad.

Last one on the Quidditch-go-Round is, well, probably better off.

This from CNN this morning: Somebody talked someone with more money than sense into creating a Harry Potter theme park.

From the story:

"In a statement rich in entertainment hyperbole, the builders of "The Wizarding World of Harry Potter" said they planned to "create the world's first immersive Harry Potter themed environment."

Ignoring the fact that the LAST BOOK comes out this summer, so the books will all be out by the time the park opens. (What drives kiddies to want to see the mouse? the ongoing stories, songs, tv shows, about the mouse.)

Would seem to me that anyone visiting is going to want to see and do, the things they saw Harry and pals do on the screen. Brooms on wires aren't going to get it done for anybody over about 6.

On the other hand, I have a small list of people I'd like to inflate and float off like Harry did to Aunt whatserface.



Oh, and for those who haven't noticed the otherwise "discreet" link. Here's where I've been spending my time lately: knife

Welcome to the real world...

There's a restaurant down the road with a sign out front that reads:

Congratulations Seniors

Graduating Class of 2007

Server wanted.

In my head I'm hearing Green Day--

"I hope you had the time of your life...."

The Zimmers

Can the most joyous thing you've seen in awhile also be one of the saddest? Turns out.. yeah.
"My Generation"

CruiserMel tagged me while I wasn't looking.

Figured it had to happen sooner or later., You KNOW how bad she's always wanted to.

A - Available or Single? For parties, bar mitzvahs, weddings, Hell, I’d sing for soup.
B - Best Friend? DB (Darling Bride) —for 25 years now.
C - Cake or Pie? Cake, “I don’t want to be in a pie… I don’t like gravy.”
D - Drink of Choice? The next one
E - Essential Item(s)? laptop, jump drive, sandals, beach
F - Favorite Color? Green. But not just any green. That deep dark new money green, preferably in unmarked 20's.
G - Gummi Bears or Worms? Never had worms. Had a kidney stone once. Either way, ick.
H - Hometown? San Angelo, Texas
I - Indulgence? Trips to the beach
J - January or February? January, in Mexico, see “I”
K - Kids? A fortune teller once said I had a fine and uncommon destiny. Perhaps you’ve met my daughter?
L - Life is incomplete without…music.
M - Marriage Date? What?? I set one once... I even showed up. Why do I have to do it again??
N - Number of Siblings? Whole ones, Steps, Halves, more Steps… we’re not a family, we’re a disfunctional cult.
O - Oranges or Apples? Apples, baked in a pie, with cinnamon ice cream
P - Phobias/Fears? Puberty. If it ever catches me and my voice changes....?
Q - Favorite Quote? “No matter where you go? There you are?”
R - Reasons to Smile? Take a deep breath. Look around you. If you can do that? You got reason enough.
S - Season? Fall, the season of Technicolor snow.
T - Tag Three? I don’t know. Maybe later.
U - Unknown Fact About Me: Some folks are innies, some folks are outies? I’m a nonee.
V - Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animals? O-pressed, grilled, flame broiled, barbecued, smoked… whatever.
W - Worst habits? Easily distract... uhm...??
X - X-rays or Ultrasounds? Giving or getting? Always wanted those x-ray specs in the back of the comic books.
Y - Your Favorite Foods: Hamburgers, no freakin’ cheese thank you. That’s why it’s called a Hamburger.
Z - Zodiac: Leo, but more like the one from Oz…. “If I were King, of the Foreeeeeessssssstttt…”

Coming On Next: Alien Idol!

CNN Headlines tonite: New Immigration test reads like Jeopardy. They have a video clip. Son of a gun. It really does. I was a little bit heartened by the fact that most of the U.S. Citizens that they found on the street could answer most of the questions they were asked. I really was expecting it to sound like another Leno bit.

Elsewhere, Tom Poston died today. Too Bad. He'd have laughed 'til he cried at the story above. The man had genius comic timing.

Got a note from a publisher I had pitched my current book to. Said it was a "Satisfying Read" and an "Interesting concept". And that it just wasn't right for them.

Feel like I'm back in Junior High and Sylvia just read my note asking her to the sweetheart dance.

Piece by Piece- AQS and Alzheimers

---

In the last month I've been to the original Hancock Fabrics, in Paducah, KY, and spent the night in one of the very first Howard Johnson's, in Asheville, NC. Dear Lord, I ought to be at least 70.

Surprisingly not, though. Not the point.

The Point?

Spent the day with DB (Darling Bride) and a couple of friends, trying not to get run over by overzealous quilters with sharp needles at the American Quilter's Society Annual Show in Paducah, KY. The trip was a birthday present for DB. (Holy crap, you wouldn't believe how old she is. Oh wait... so'm I. Forget I said anything.)

There were, as always, some beautiful quilts on display. Hundreds after hundreds of them. A huge ballroom full. Another huge conference room full. But the most powerful stuff on display was on the far side of the convention center, in an out of the way display area. Quilts made for and dedicated to the fight against Alzheimer's.

Quilt's like this:

Losing My Mind A Piece At A Time
37 1/2" x 58"

by Jannett Caldwell
Avondale, PA

Click on the picture to learn more.

First, this display should have been front and center, not off in a side room three football field's walk away. I kid you not, there were elderly women in every chair in every hallway, resting from the journey. Half of 'em were asleep.

Second, These quilts are everything this American art form can be: art, history, social commentary, family memories ... did I mention Art, (big A)?

You can learn more here.

Want to own a piece of art that actually IS trying to change the world? Go here.

What happens on the Internet....

--Soapbox alert--

What happens in Vegas only stays in Vegas if you were the only one there when it happened, but what happens on the Internet stays on the Internet... maybe forever.

Don't believe me? Google Vanessa Williams and Playboy. Or, e-mail Alec Baldwin in a couple months... or years.

Or, visit the Wayback Machine (Why, that's keen Mr. Peabody!)

Now, to hammer it home one more time. Take 75 seconds and watch this

Maybe show it to every teenager and "joe internet user" who hasn't seen it yet.

--soapbox put away now, thanks. --

Ironically enough, the Circle of Life does not belong at the dinner table.

Been watching Planet Earth?

Not a lot of TV gets watched around our house, but this we've made time for. Beautiful images, some interesting information. And lots of things eating other things.

It's as if something eating something else is scripted into the schedule. (OK, coming up on four minutes with the pretty seals, Cue tape two, bring on the sharks.)

So much so that, the catch phrase for the show at my house has become:

"Hey, that's a cute little fella. What's gonna eat it?"