aspcEa?

So a friend gave DB (Darling Bride) an i-Dog the other day. If you haven't seen one, it shakes its head and lights up and the ears move.. in time with the music it hears. Apparently you can hit a button and reset it's personality.
(Way ahead of you: Right now I have a dozen science fiction fans and scientists locked in a small room until they figure out how to do this Robert Tilton.)

After you reset it you have to make it listen to the music of your choice for half an hour so that it can develop its new personality.

DB set it up on the coffee table with one of the Music Channels playing on the TV. But a storm was rolling through and the signal kept "hiccupping".

Bottom Line: Her i-Dog has a twitch. It's so sad.

Last one on the Quidditch-go-Round is, well, probably better off.

This from CNN this morning: Somebody talked someone with more money than sense into creating a Harry Potter theme park.

From the story:

"In a statement rich in entertainment hyperbole, the builders of "The Wizarding World of Harry Potter" said they planned to "create the world's first immersive Harry Potter themed environment."

Ignoring the fact that the LAST BOOK comes out this summer, so the books will all be out by the time the park opens. (What drives kiddies to want to see the mouse? the ongoing stories, songs, tv shows, about the mouse.)

Would seem to me that anyone visiting is going to want to see and do, the things they saw Harry and pals do on the screen. Brooms on wires aren't going to get it done for anybody over about 6.

On the other hand, I have a small list of people I'd like to inflate and float off like Harry did to Aunt whatserface.



Oh, and for those who haven't noticed the otherwise "discreet" link. Here's where I've been spending my time lately: knife

Welcome to the real world...

There's a restaurant down the road with a sign out front that reads:

Congratulations Seniors

Graduating Class of 2007

Server wanted.

In my head I'm hearing Green Day--

"I hope you had the time of your life...."

The Zimmers

Can the most joyous thing you've seen in awhile also be one of the saddest? Turns out.. yeah.
"My Generation"

CruiserMel tagged me while I wasn't looking.

Figured it had to happen sooner or later., You KNOW how bad she's always wanted to.

A - Available or Single? For parties, bar mitzvahs, weddings, Hell, I’d sing for soup.
B - Best Friend? DB (Darling Bride) —for 25 years now.
C - Cake or Pie? Cake, “I don’t want to be in a pie… I don’t like gravy.”
D - Drink of Choice? The next one
E - Essential Item(s)? laptop, jump drive, sandals, beach
F - Favorite Color? Green. But not just any green. That deep dark new money green, preferably in unmarked 20's.
G - Gummi Bears or Worms? Never had worms. Had a kidney stone once. Either way, ick.
H - Hometown? San Angelo, Texas
I - Indulgence? Trips to the beach
J - January or February? January, in Mexico, see “I”
K - Kids? A fortune teller once said I had a fine and uncommon destiny. Perhaps you’ve met my daughter?
L - Life is incomplete without…music.
M - Marriage Date? What?? I set one once... I even showed up. Why do I have to do it again??
N - Number of Siblings? Whole ones, Steps, Halves, more Steps… we’re not a family, we’re a disfunctional cult.
O - Oranges or Apples? Apples, baked in a pie, with cinnamon ice cream
P - Phobias/Fears? Puberty. If it ever catches me and my voice changes....?
Q - Favorite Quote? “No matter where you go? There you are?”
R - Reasons to Smile? Take a deep breath. Look around you. If you can do that? You got reason enough.
S - Season? Fall, the season of Technicolor snow.
T - Tag Three? I don’t know. Maybe later.
U - Unknown Fact About Me: Some folks are innies, some folks are outies? I’m a nonee.
V - Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animals? O-pressed, grilled, flame broiled, barbecued, smoked… whatever.
W - Worst habits? Easily distract... uhm...??
X - X-rays or Ultrasounds? Giving or getting? Always wanted those x-ray specs in the back of the comic books.
Y - Your Favorite Foods: Hamburgers, no freakin’ cheese thank you. That’s why it’s called a Hamburger.
Z - Zodiac: Leo, but more like the one from Oz…. “If I were King, of the Foreeeeeessssssstttt…”

Coming On Next: Alien Idol!

CNN Headlines tonite: New Immigration test reads like Jeopardy. They have a video clip. Son of a gun. It really does. I was a little bit heartened by the fact that most of the U.S. Citizens that they found on the street could answer most of the questions they were asked. I really was expecting it to sound like another Leno bit.

Elsewhere, Tom Poston died today. Too Bad. He'd have laughed 'til he cried at the story above. The man had genius comic timing.

Got a note from a publisher I had pitched my current book to. Said it was a "Satisfying Read" and an "Interesting concept". And that it just wasn't right for them.

Feel like I'm back in Junior High and Sylvia just read my note asking her to the sweetheart dance.

Piece by Piece- AQS and Alzheimers

---

In the last month I've been to the original Hancock Fabrics, in Paducah, KY, and spent the night in one of the very first Howard Johnson's, in Asheville, NC. Dear Lord, I ought to be at least 70.

Surprisingly not, though. Not the point.

The Point?

Spent the day with DB (Darling Bride) and a couple of friends, trying not to get run over by overzealous quilters with sharp needles at the American Quilter's Society Annual Show in Paducah, KY. The trip was a birthday present for DB. (Holy crap, you wouldn't believe how old she is. Oh wait... so'm I. Forget I said anything.)

There were, as always, some beautiful quilts on display. Hundreds after hundreds of them. A huge ballroom full. Another huge conference room full. But the most powerful stuff on display was on the far side of the convention center, in an out of the way display area. Quilts made for and dedicated to the fight against Alzheimer's.

Quilt's like this:

Losing My Mind A Piece At A Time
37 1/2" x 58"

by Jannett Caldwell
Avondale, PA

Click on the picture to learn more.

First, this display should have been front and center, not off in a side room three football field's walk away. I kid you not, there were elderly women in every chair in every hallway, resting from the journey. Half of 'em were asleep.

Second, These quilts are everything this American art form can be: art, history, social commentary, family memories ... did I mention Art, (big A)?

You can learn more here.

Want to own a piece of art that actually IS trying to change the world? Go here.

What happens on the Internet....

--Soapbox alert--

What happens in Vegas only stays in Vegas if you were the only one there when it happened, but what happens on the Internet stays on the Internet... maybe forever.

Don't believe me? Google Vanessa Williams and Playboy. Or, e-mail Alec Baldwin in a couple months... or years.

Or, visit the Wayback Machine (Why, that's keen Mr. Peabody!)

Now, to hammer it home one more time. Take 75 seconds and watch this

Maybe show it to every teenager and "joe internet user" who hasn't seen it yet.

--soapbox put away now, thanks. --

Ironically enough, the Circle of Life does not belong at the dinner table.

Been watching Planet Earth?

Not a lot of TV gets watched around our house, but this we've made time for. Beautiful images, some interesting information. And lots of things eating other things.

It's as if something eating something else is scripted into the schedule. (OK, coming up on four minutes with the pretty seals, Cue tape two, bring on the sharks.)

So much so that, the catch phrase for the show at my house has become:

"Hey, that's a cute little fella. What's gonna eat it?"

Abstinence makes the umm, "heart" grow fonder

From USATODAY today:


"STUDY: Abstinence classes don't stop sex"

And, inside the story, this:

"The students who participated in abstinence education did so for one to three years. Their average age was 11 to 12 when they entered the programs back in 1999."


So, at least a recordable percentage of these kids had sex WHILE enrolled in the abstinence classes?

insert your joke here

This just in:


Nestle is buying Gerber Baby Food . (The company, not mashed carrots and green beans, silly.)

Ooooh Chocolate Strained Peas!!!

What interested me was that Gerber's previous owner was a drug company -- Novartis.

What, we can't grow healthy kids through chemistry, so we're going back to chocolate?

Wait.. sign me up.

Acoustic Kitty never turned 40

Darn it, I missed it!

The 40th anniversary of the CIA's "Acoustic Kitty" project was last month.

Apparently, back in March of '67 The CIA got the idea to surgically insert microphones and transmitters into trained cats, with the idea that they would walk around the parks and neighborhoods of subversive characters and "listen in".

This from an old Guardian article:

"Having wired their first trained cat for sound, they released it near a park with strict orders to eavesdrop on two men on a bench,"

Alas, within just a few steps, the cat was run over by a taxi.

I'd say their first mistake was thinking they could train cats.

The end is near

Sunday marks the end of the chocolate season.

I wrote about this awhile back.

Happy Easter, anyway!


And then, there's this:



If you want one, you can get it from cafepress.com.







And, lest we forget, Peeps in Peril. These guys really know how to handle their Peeps.

Technology and the Real World

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Real World Uses of Technology

It's 1 A.M.

---
You're drunk.

You're in a bar full of drunks, several of whom are helping you sing along with the band, into your cell phone, at the top of their lungs.

You are singing to someone who, 5 minutes ago, was blissfully dreaming of a lovely, quiet, isolated paradise, probably including a beach, blue water, and nubile, willing beauties of the sex of their choice.

And yet, this is going to turn out to be the single most important phone call you are going to make tonight.

Because an hour from now you are going to be calling this same person, looking for bail money.

Teach Your Children... well?

---
You know those guys you get behind in the 10 items or less lane? The ones with their kids with them, and they tell their 8 year old "Here, you take these 8 things, and your little brother can take these 6. And Daddy will take these 10, and we're all ok..."?

Ran into another one of those the other day. I hear he's getting his "Handicapped" tag for his mirror next week.

Thus it is written, So shall it be. Mulch 2 for $3.

---
Let me first kiss up by saying that, of the limited choices we have here in "just east of the sticks, Sillynois" Kroger is my choice of grocery store.

We also have a super-megalomaniac-mart that I'd rather take a beating than go visit. Between them and the big blue K, they drove the local grocers out of business. (I'm sorry, I tried to prevent it. I can only buy so many cases of canned beets and cat food.)

There is also a small "stuff that fell off a truck on the interstate and we brought the boxes in here" store that sells celery and lettuce right next to motor oil and electronics from companies like Sany and Pennysonic (NOT typos).

So, Kroger gets most of my grocery dollars. That being said....

Just inside the front door is the store pledge. We pledge to be good local citizens and provide quality, convenient yada yada yada....

But it ends with "Thus it is written, So Shall It Be."

Just what book of the Bible is Kroger in? I don't know, maybe they have their own. Maybe the order is actually Joshua Judges Ruth and today's Pastries... (or maybe they're in the ganoche-tic bible?)

Another thing. They sell mulch and fertilizer by the front door, like it's an impulse item. (Got me a hot date, let's see... I need me some Certs, some condoms, and hey, we're gonna want some mulch!)

I don't know, maybe they think that folks here in farming country always have manure on our minds.

"Wooo boy, I done loaded up on groceries this time. I'm gonna eat good and poo for a week. Hey, that reminds me....."

???

From the mind of William Shatner???

---
SCI-FI channel is advertising something called Fire Serpent. Some kind of flaming alien comes to earth thing.

Here's the fun part: It's being advertised as coming "From the mind of William Shatner."

My first thought was "Hey, Look. And it isn't even sticky!"

The second thought was "what the heck is that supposed to mean?" Does it mean that William Shatner actually thought of this and told somebody, "Hey how about an alien made of fire that comes to Earth? Maybe we could even blame them for global warming?"

Or does it mean that he said, "Hey, you guys come up with something that'll make the air and then pay me to put my name next to it?"

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm a big fan. I think the way he's re-invented himself is nothing short of remarkable. Seriously. I've never done anything as successful or largely loved as he has.

Instead I think it is sadly, more likely, that some marketing dweeb thought that this little tag line would help add some last minute credibility to the project.

The website doesn't tell us anything. And doesn't mention Mr. Shatner.

I notice that IMDB doesn't give him a credit, though. Bummer.

We are a weird species.

---
This weekend more than a quarter million people have driven to Daytona, Florida. Spectators have arrived from all over the world, travelling in tens of thousands of vehicles: by car, by jet, by ship and boat and train, in order to watch 43 cars drive 500 miles in a circle, just as fast as they can go.

Several thousand folks more are involved in maintaining, supporting or reporting on, those 43 cars (44 if you count the pace car) and untold numbers of tow, media and other support vehicles.

And what do you figure? Somewhere along the drive there and/or back, 1 in 3?, 2 in 3?, WILL bitch about the price of gas?

We are a weird species.

BTW, average price of a gallon of gas in the United States today? $2.27

The third season of chocolate.

---
Any true chocoholic knows that chocolate is seasonal.

The best season is Easter, with Christmas and Valentine's Day in the place and show positions.

First off, Easter is guilt free chocolate. If you're a Christian you have an entire holiday telling you that someone already paid the bill. Eat until you croak. Heaven awaits. And if you're not a Christian, then gluttony isn't a sin anyway. Dive in.

And besides, you get to go all "Ozzy" and bite the head off a rabbit.

Christmas is second because there is a larger variety of chocolaty goodness out there than there is on V-Day. But let's face it, biting the head off of Santa is just asking for it.

Valentines Day has to come in third. Sure, there's an abundance of chocolate, but there's also an over-abundance of those sneaky cream filled buggers. Who decided this was a good idea? And, if you didn't get chocolate from someone else, you have that "I'm standing in line, buying my own freaking valentine." thing going on.

They don't even have a chocolate Cupid to go after. Santa must have warned him or something....